ATJ,
Your post brings back memories for me. I was 29 when appointed and did about 10 years or so. I never dealt with a pedofile but many of your experiences are similar to mine. I was an a$$hole for at least the first few years too. I cringe over some of the things I said and thought.I know I should continue to beat myself up over it, but it still saddens and disappoints me.
Being an elder was nothing like I thought it was going to be. Being a company man sucked even worse.
Exactly!
And, the political games that I noticed in multiple congregations and at the circuit and district level were enough to allow me to just consider for a moment that "apostates" actually had legitimate points. I honestly can't imagine that there are many elders who actually think holy spirit is guiding them, at least at the local level.